I want to confess……..that there are times when I feel lousy about myself when I'm not even schooling, earning serious money, conscious about my appearance, nor being crazily in love.
I think retired old people generally have the abovementioned type of living status. Don't you think so? I lived like as though I've retired in 2010 such that I even have time for pilgrimages, volunteer work, plenty of outings… I used to think that my grandmother has the most untroubled state of mind since she has stopped experiencing "new challenges" in her life as she does the same things everyday! …cook, watch tv, go ntuc, sleep, expect surprise visits from us….
Maybe this is not very true you know… her emotions could be like a roller coaster just for as long as her insecurities remain. For me, I did not have many worries either. In fact I had so much fun, sufficient income and made the most number of friends in a year. All I was supposed to do last year was to move myself a little away from my comfort zone and still generate equal love and responsibility towards my new and old environment. I think I've failed in that aspect. I'm still fundamentally lazy…..and my old problems still persist no matter who I meet and where I go.
I realise my problems but I do not know how to handle them, that's when I feel very lousy and tired.