Saturday, March 06, 2010
thinkin about life
weather: cool
mood: sian
I made a trip down to smu for it's open house this afternoon and then it got me thinking about my tertiary education for the whole day. I was pretty excited initially about hopes of getting into a local university. then just a while ago, I suddenly became a lil upset that I have to part with sciency subjects....bcos I can't get into any of them. =( WHY?! why can't I study them just because I'm lousy?! k lah.. that was quite stupidly expressed. I get so thrilled whenever I get to think so thoroughly and grasp those concepts. I just want to continue learning.............but very likely, i may not turn out to be that much of a contributive medical professional next time....cos maybe...lower interllect, less hardworking,slower, cannot do maths...etc. tsk....
then some of you may suggest overseas if i'm really very passionate to pursue health sciences or sth liddat...I don't know ...I still think that the idea of leaving my home behind for years is so far-fetched. sorry...too pampered over here alr.
I'm really not ready for University. suddenly, I have to think so seriously about my career...
currently, I have a limited variety of choices. I'm making do with whatever I'm eligible for and hope that I get into either of them. I'll be very grateful if I really do, given my bad grades. but hor the feeling of being so deprived of choices is kinda....sad. I know, i really know that to a very large extent it's totally fair for higher scorers to have better,wider, more convenient choices.
I'm so upset....I'm not grumbling about my grades here. I'm so upset because my world is so small. My life is going to be dictated by 3 prospectus books and only 2 or 3 pages of that 2cm book is relevant to me. I don't know if this should be right at all.....but everyone i know that is in the same boat as me are doing likewise.
11:31 pm