Sunday, January 31, 2010
precious off days!
I felt really gooooood today ! I'm finally off on my weekends !! :) weet weet ! baked cookies with mom and sister in the afternoon..that's why hor I exited my house in a rush lor, and without making it on time for dinner with ivan, tw , wc and eug.
we had humchimpeng from maxwell. had a hard time meandering thr the crowd in chinatown. poor ivan, perspired so much. lol. and then headed for katong laksa. i know...we travelled alot. most people don't do that for meet ups. but i liked it leh. it seemed like a very fruitful day spent at many places.
then we took damn long to decide where to go next cos the night was still early and nobody seemed to be getting drinks or desserts..so ecp was our next destination. chat chat chat.
joy, it never lasts..... lol
I'm really learning how to treasure my times spent with my family and friends.
Oh! colleagues ! how much comfort can I get or provide them?
1:24 am
Saturday, January 30, 2010
nights are getting cold
today was so boring cos none of the vehicles was dispatched. all I rmb about today was this problem girl (correction shes not a girl, shes an auntie), the concentration games we played in the break room, role playing, ushering guests in the evening (and it was good ! my workplace makes an excellent venue for evening strolls :) )
btw I think I've gathered quite an interesting statistic- 2 in 10 women are likely to be lesbians. my view on homosexuality? actually I don't have a firm stand on it yet. but I still find the idea of knowing people who are homosexuals to be hard to swallow...
I finally have my weekends off ! gonna spend some quality time with myself, family and friends :) happy happy !
1:24 am
Thursday, January 28, 2010
don't hit the threshold levels
I like the way how some games conceptualise interpersonal relationships. sometimes they may simplify to a meter bar to represent how much this person like another person. so if this person pisses someone off once, that meter bar will drop a bit. and then you gotta take note of the thresholds of different people.
it's so simple and very real actually !
10:41 pm
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
23 days old at work
it has been quite a busy week for enchanted as more (internal) guests are coming in. honestly i'm far more shy and unconfident of approaching strangers that what I thought myself to be.
but so far, I'm quite proud of my performance esp. since I don't consider myself as someone who is witty and eloquent.
now what I need to do is to think of more lines and more more practices!!!! :)
my team members are so active and sporty...they're meeting up to .................................................................................play basketball.
anw we are planning for morning jogs before work starts in the future. that one, i will consider seriously and try my best to join them!
and as of today, I'm 23 days old!!!! and people call me by so many names omg !.... chenyufen!!!, evian, short short, sugi (sugeeeeeeee) i had to wear that mock name tag and they thought that the name suits my face. -_-
i know this sounds sick but i miss hearing people calling me chubbyna or chubby or chubby baby, though they arent very true.
9:20 pm
Sunday, January 24, 2010
can't allow my life to be stagnated
yes! by now you should have realised that nothing exciting is going on in my life right now.
my job is exciting only when there is actual ridership...if not everyday I'll just be working unmeaningfully. anyway i've just decided that imma start my driving lessons only in march ;)
so february will be another month of work and not forgetting...cny !!!!
how? I feel so very empty...I just feel that I should do something else besides working cos I'm so detached from my social life. I think i should do some enrichment course..learn dancing or yoga or complete my grade 8 piano or sth cos I don't think I've improved myself in any way.
omg omg omg !!!!!....i seriously need to date some people this weekend cos I'm finally off on a weekend!
ok i know...i need to pick up some books to read. the reason why I'm so unhappy is bcos ......I'm very air-headed nowadays. booo
11:06 pm
Saturday, January 23, 2010
hello baby
not gonna blog about what happened today in detail cos it;s too embarrassing to tell to many people. I feel so stupid.
and this is the first time i feel the pinch of not contacting my friends for a long time and haven't hung out much with my family...i tell you, times have changed.
oh whennnn is cny gonna commeeeeee??????
10:50 pm
off- day :)
hello... I have been posting entries that are not very pleasant to the ears lately. shall do sth more light-hearted today.
tell you what am I gonna do tmr then.
hahaha.
wake up at 9am and reach vivo by 10pm to make some money transaction.
I'm aiming to start queuing for food by 1pm before the waiting time gets onto my nerves. take away some food for family cos heavily discounted food always tastes soooo good!
leave house and head towards jj. hopefully can reach by 5pm. and then mass dance doesn't end so soon. cos I'm missing mass dances very much. I wonder who am I meeting in school tmr. I wish to be surprised by who I'm seeing. hahaha.... I think I should be leaving jj by about 9pm so that I can go look for cute planners at artbox. this is urgent ar...gotta settle this asap cos feb is arriving soon and my planner will only be 11/12 utilised.
oh what a packed schedule i have !
12:12 am
Thursday, January 21, 2010
mental menaces
so cranky these days. sometimes when I look back at my previous posts, I can't understand exactly why I wrote those. I gotta think through all the events that had happened first before empathizing with the past me.
I kinda feel bad for so much discrimination that has been going on. discrimination towards an elite, elderly, smart alec, person with attitude problem.... sure, they have their faults but why do all the negative vibes suddenly become amplified? and gossips are becoming more and more unethical!why can't I be more kind-hearted like what people who live in the castles are thought to be!
I seriously need to manage those incoming negative thoughts, if not I will never feel like I once had an enchanting stay in the far far away.
8:05 pm
sleep sleep i love to sleep
what am I doing at this hour man?! I should be sleeping! I'm sooooo exhausted! but damn I'm sending lotsa pictures to my leader via EMAIL. omg.....shit man needa finish my tonight and I've got no zipping programme!!!! WHY THE HELL DID I VOLUNTEER TO DO THIS?! so kaypoh for what..... i really want to sleep asap.
I know I sound kinda weird here....
btw I'm looking forward to going back to JJ. I miss schooooollll! I feel like dancing alr ^ ^mass dance mass dance !!!! makes me so so so high!!
I don't understand what's so appealing about girls who pretend to be always crazy...( always giggle, never engage in any serious conversations...) That's lame and attention-seeking.
kay i should stop being so bitchy but it irritates me when people discuss about how cute this type of girls are. CUTE YOUR HEAD! dont be mistaken. I'm not sore about it. I'm just reenforcing my stand that I'm against such disgusting kind of "cuteness" lor....
This is certainly a very childish post and ironically, I'm insisting that people on that side are v shallow!!!
12:29 am
Thursday, January 14, 2010
post a levels blues
There is still something that comes back to me every now and then. That is my results!!!! Although I've drifted away from that topic for quite some time , I'm still always reminded of that ! people ask about it, I meet people that are waiting for results too almost everyday, some of my a level resources are still around...
honestly, I'm scared bcos I don't have any concrete plans for my future yet. shit. I'm not even confident enough to dream and anticipate things. By browsing through the university websites make me feel worse. but I don't think I've let myself down last year so retaking my a levels this year would be my least preferred option cos it won't make much difference.
It's 14 Jan. I tell you the day's gonna come very soon.
so much for hating stigmatization of students that had records of "not making it" when I, myself is guilty of such as well.
I think the day when I'm no longer feeling bad for my lousy results ( that is if I really get that for the upcoming one) will be when I've convinced myself this kind of judgement is fallacious. sigh it's an entirely different matter as to merely disregard them..
5:22 pm
work reflections
SM Lee waved at me while he was seriously immersed in his evaluation of the park. wow I'm so lucky!
I still don't feel quite bonded to my team members so I decided join 2 of my colleagues to chill out at vivo after work.my preferred style of socialising is still in a smaller group. Hate hanging around with big groups of people, especially when I don't know them well. It makes me feel so out of place and awkward when I don't respond well erm according to the group dynamics. You know, the obligation to think of something good to say. In the past, that wasn't much of a problem for me. cos those "big groups of mine" were tasked to work something out, something that I'm quite familiar or enthusiastic about and that I would love to initiate things confidently.
But this one! it's just...tagging on and trying to catch up with the more senior ones. How come I don't feel like I need to take up some larger responsibilities ar? like improving working environment or brainstorm for more things...etc. I'm so confused by what I'm thinking and saying.
I think there is a problem with me. I may not be taking enough initiatives but I've alr tried to observe as much things as I can. I told myself not to be blur so that being unknowingly slack will not be my excuse anymore. I have been very curious about my working environment by questioning alot. but why is there nothing substantial i can do?
man i really need more team bonding time if not i'll be lagging behind very much. i need to know more more MORE! and omg.....I need more time to interact with a person before learning how to sustain a conversation with him/her. why are such things becoming more difficult for me? am I becoming less sociable or are the people around me becoming.....less interesting...such that I'm forced to think of a way to sustain the conversation. hey I wish everyone knows how to appreciate silence that breaks out once in a while. sometimes it's a form of communication also lor cos it allows time for the people to reflect about the other party they're talking to. so to people who are not patient with these silent instances, they will reduce the number of times they talk to you in the future. and then people like me will be having alot of confusing thoughts.
I have to literally catch up with them in order to be engaged in their conversations simply bcos they always walk so fast ! I dont know whyyyyyy !!!! I really don't like to talk and walk so fast at the same time. I only walk fast when I'm in a rush or feeling a lil frustrated and under such circumstances, I wouldn't be talking. then at other times, I would rather stroll.
grumbles aside, I'm still a proud member of the enchanted team. :)
12:38 am
Saturday, January 09, 2010
excitement
I'm on a graveyard shift tonight and tmr again!!! lol i hope i assigned to the same supper break as the guy who shares a lot of gossips...hahahaha !
ok!I'm gonna help out with the love letters now! and aim to nap for 3 hours before reporting to work later ~ ^^
btw I gotta wear uniform for the first time next week. SUPER DUPER EXCITED!!!!
12:22 pm
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
sleepy
maybe you should ignore my previous post. it must have been due to my grumpiness lol. I had a part to play in those "aloofness"too. I think I was kinda non-responsive to what one of the team leaders is saying most of the times...do you think it's my problem? cos i can't comprehend what shes talking about on many occasions.
there are a few of them that address me by my chinese name cos they don't rmb my english name !!!! why are they so weird ar? considering that they're like....uni graduates.....
haiya...i think i'm going to sleep again. goodnight !
10:21 pm
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
i'm working!
3 days of work and today's the fourth ! I like my workplace cos it's so pretty and I'm hearing fantasy music and the
vehicle rumbles everyday at my station. and have i told you that i like the smell of construction sites? lol....now you see I'm really enjoying myself.
everything seems ohkay to me except for the people. generally nice people...but i can't see them anything more than just colleagues. this is the first time I felt like this when I meet new people.
I dunno if this is just me being too judgemental or it's just the culture over there. everyone chats about work-related stuff. even if it's a joke..it's like sth gt to do with our job. i think asking each other for their age is the most exciting question. is this how work life is supposed to be? nobody should not reveal nor probe too much into each other's lives?
i know this is going to make me sound like a attention seeker but i feel like nobody is interested in me at all ! and i wasnt too quiet what...i've tried to extend the conversation to other things but it didn't work. maybe i'm not good at socialising also...=( but that's what I've been doing for all my schooling years....and people were responded genially. I feel bonded to them and love them and i believe they like me too....oh well. I will continue soon!
I'm on for a graveyard shift tonight.
but I'm meeting azureen firsttt ! :)))))))
seeya!
1:12 pm
Monday, January 04, 2010
HAPPY 2010!
Hi everybody! a very happy new year to you. I don't have any new year resolutions . I just want to live peacefully until the results are out. So far I've started the year 2010 with the things I want to do which were hard to achieve for the past years. I had a sumptuous family feast at home, also sang until quite shiok at partyworld with wc tw ivan and eugene. I'm not always satisfied after singing you know. like when songs got cancelled, got chased out of room, air con too cold, tidbits too little etc...but i think most importantly is to be able to sing the songs you want to sing. I think we all have a common pool of sufficient favourite songs? i only know that i'm very very happy to have this group of people ard!
12:10 am