first day of another new episode of my life in school wasn't as tormenting as I thought.(it was damn long, thanks to mr er for the extra bio pract at the last min.-_-) l really have to give the credits to my great girlfriends.love love love youuuu!!
I greeted benny and wanting in the morning quite chirpily- now that the first person i see in school varies everyday, today they were the first 2 people i met.
I happened to catch a glimpse of him too. it was an unexpected sight in school. such an awkward feeling today as compared to the other times when i'm constantly scanning about the school compound for that familiar figure. now things have changed.I got flustered, so i diverted my vision to somewhere else before it turns into a noticeable stare. that is all i did to the new familiar stranger.
after that, i returned to the "waiting mode" which i used to be in by default- waiting for even more pleasant unexpectancies. *smacks myself to reality*
this is blind, really blind. no matter how hard I've convinced myself while my friends justified that you are a jerk, I'm still so...naively hopeful of the situation. damn it. on the other hand, I'm still pondering over questions that are though, non-rhetorical in nature, will never be answered by him.
I'm sure I can get over this. I'm currently takingJUST A STEP everyday towards successfully letting go of this. today, I've changed the way I would like to see how his contact appears in my phone. and then i thought that he may be going through the same process as me too, or maybe he has dismantled everything that reminds him of the previous episode alr.
I can't help it. my throat sours again.
Imma reward myself with oreo milkshake on the day when I dont feel this way and not having to strain my tear glands for 3 consecutive days. I'm confident that I can do it.